Misery loves company (Revisited)
In a recent post I discussed a mission I was on to determine if sympathy pains, for something other than pregnancy, were real and if there was a valid reason for this. The adventure into finding some information was quite an entertaining one, none the less.
I google searched to see if I could find the information that I was looking for and was amazed and confused at the results that I got. Has google completely lost their marbles? Really internet? So I googled the terms – “spouse feeling medical symptoms”. Maybe not the clearest of search terms because, honestly, I had no idea how to start searching for this. I didn’t know what it was even called. Anyhow, what I got was a list of results on how to determine if your spouse is cheating on you, how to detect spousal abuse, etc. WHAT THE HELL? That wasn’t what I was looking for. The more that I searched and revised my terms, the more narrow the results got.
I found a lot of information on sympathy pains for pregnancy but was having a difficult time finding anything more. Is this something that has not been experienced? Is this far fetched nonsense? I don’t know, but I did find a website that seemed to explain this sort of phenomenon.
Empathetic Psychic Abilities is what this webiste said that they were. This is the explanation that it gave—
“Perhaps the most common aspect of naturally occurring mental powers are empathic psychic abilities. This is the ability of a person to experience the same feelings or sensations felt by another. Empathic psychic abilities are exhibited even by people who doubt the existence of spiritual forces that can be tapped into. Almost everyone has heard the phrase “sympathy pains”, and most of us have had moments to which this phrase could be applied. While these are not always empathic psychic abilities being exhibited, they often are.”
The website goes on to compare these physical symptoms to the mental connection between a mother and child. It explains how a mother knows that her child is in danger, scared, or in need of something. It explains how one twin can detect the other twin in danger, hurt or dying. So it made me wonder if the connection was rather more of a mental bonding than anything. Is it possible for two people who are not blood related to be so emotionally connected that they can feel eachother’s pain?
So is all of this some form of psychic ability? I did some further looking into this and came across a website from the US National Library of Medicine. There was a study done back in 2008 on 90 couples. These 90 couples were chosen because one person in each relationship was suffering from a chronic illness that involved pain. Half of these couples considered themselves to be extremely close and have a strong emotional bond and connection, while the other half did not. The study showed that there seemed to be empathetic communication with physical attribution between the couples that were in a strong, emotionally connected relationship.
Whether this is truly the actual cause of an individual experiencing symptoms of their chronically ill spouse, I have no clue. Is it possible for a couple to truly be “that connected” nowadays? Does that fairy-tale romance still exist?
I stumbled upon your blog from a comment you left on another blog. I just read this post and I just wanted to say that I totally 100% think there is something to this. I have several chronic illnesses and my husband regularly gets little random symptoms of them when I am. When I have really intense pain in a certain spot, he often does too. It’s very strange. But he does it very often and like your husband, he has none of the health issues that I have. These random things are not severe enough to impact his life or anything, but I do believe there is some sort of connection between the two of us that causes this. Simply because it has happened too often and in far too specific of instances, for there not to be something to it. I enjoyed your post, it is interesting to see someone else talk about it.
Thanks so much for your comment. It’s nice to know you are not alone.
You’re welcome. And yes I agree. I actually think, after reading a few more posts on your blog and your Thypolar Life page, that we have a great deal more in common than just husbands with sympathy pains. I’m 33, I have 3 kids, I’ve battled so many health problems. My problems started with a devastating car accident. And I think a great many of them since, go back to my bout with Hashimoto’s thyroiditis. (I also have spine issues, and a wheat allergy i.e. celiac) Yet doctors want to treat everything else instead of my thyroid, because my thyroid now tests “too normal” to warrant thyroid supplement. So no one will even try it. Even though I have every single symptom of low thyroid ever since my severe bout with Hashimoto’s in my early 20′s. It is infuriating. The symptoms are infuriating, and many of the doctors are even more infuriating. I don’t have any fabulous advice to share. But I can relate to a great deal of what you are saying. I wish you the best of luck and I hope we can both find a road to healing. Hang in there. In spite of the fact that people falsely assume people with medical conditions are weak, in reality we are strong – or we wouldn’t have survived this stuff this long.
You are correct in that we are strong. I have learned a lot about myself a long the way and am that much stronger for it! Thanks for reading. We do seem to have a lot in common.
You know what this post makes me think about? It’s one of my biggest pet peeves, to come up with an original idea. As much as it’s awesome to go, “Yay! I thought up something no one else ever thought of!” you also are stuck with nothing backing you up, or to figure out if your idea is even correct or not, you know?
I know exactly what you are talking about. I was searching for a logical explanation, a concrete reason that would give me some sort of clarity I guess. I think thats why I blogged about the search because it was just so very frustrating to not find what I was looking for.
Thanks for reading.
I think it’s possible, some things just can’t be “coincidences”