Another point of view(1)

So I begin my reflections with when I was born. To understand why my life turned out the way that it did, I suppose you’d have to take a glimpse into who my parents are and the events that led to my birth. Mind you, I obviously cannot personally recall the events and situations that led to me showing up here in 1978. Everything that I know from that time is because of something I have been told by some crazy member of my family. I will share what I know to be fact as well as disclose what I have been told and by whom. I have drawn my own conclusions on many of matters but I encourage anyone reading to lend an opinion. I know that an outsider point of view can sometimes be very valuable.

So my father was already in his 30s when he met my mother who was only 15. He had just finished college and had just gotten his first job as a doctor, not of the body but of the mind. My mom was the younger sister of his best friend’s girlfriend. My dad loved my mom’s outrageous and fun personality. They hit it off. With my grandparents living back east, my mom was living on the west coast with my aunt (18 at the time). My mom and dad quickly became serious and she moved in with him. It was the 70s and it was a common occurrence for them all to get together and smoke some weed.

My dad noticed rather quickly that there seemed to be something a little off about my mom (from his testimony). She was becoming increasingly difficult to be around with her drastic mood swings. Being my dad had the career that he did, he talked amongst his friends and colleagues about the issues he was observing. Then she became pregnant. My dad was completely caught off guard because they had always used a condom. He had long talks with her about his feelings on this. He had just started his career and ultimately never intended on having any children. She had known that right from the start (he claims). Rumor has it that she poked holes in the condom in a desperate attempt to start a family (provided by two of my aunts). In any case- the pregnancy was ended and life went on, at least for my dad. My mom, on the other hand, became increasingly more difficult post pregnancy. My dad says she would talk to herself or the walls. He would come home from work and find her rocking in a corner singing a lullaby. He was really starting to worry at this point. He talked her into getting a job thinking that maybe it would mentally straighten things out. Maybe if she got back into the real world things would improve.

She got a job and, at first, things were looking better. She had become really close with a women she worked with who was a bit older than she was and it seemed to balance her out. By the time my mom was 20 all of that had changed. She was back to talking to herself and had become unpredictable. She stopped going to work and would cry for no apparent reason. My dad was worried and consulted some friends and colleagues. Maybe she had taken the pregnancy too hard? Maybe it was better if she had a baby. It only took a couple months for her to get pregnant. Then they were married.

So this is how I came to be. I was a plan to hopefully cure a mental illness. A plan to stop the voices. A plan to keep an unstable woman stable. This is the beginning of the crazy journey that has become my life. A journey that brings the terms “drugs, sex, & rock n roll” to life.

Thanks for reading.
Till next time…………………………



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Category : Reflections, Relationships
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