Annoying Strangers
In my last post I referenced an article that I had read and was referred to by a fellow blogger. The article discussed the ever-increasing problem with depression and the probable reasons for this epidemic. I found the article very interesting and although humorous, I couldn’t find an argument to the reasons.
After reading the naked photo study intro to the article, the first reason it gave was annoying strangers. Or rather, the lack thereof. In the 21st century, we no longer have enough annoying strangers in our lives. At least that’s the theory.
“We’re losing that skill, the one that lets us deal with strangers and tolerate their shrill voices and clunky senses of humor and body odor and squeaky shoes.”
Has modern technology decreased our need for human interaction? It has made it possible for us to do most of our shopping online. We now get to miss the crazy ass person talking to herself in the toilet paper aisle of the grocery store. We get to miss the older ladies beating each other with their purses over the last cabbage patch kid during holiday shopping. We would rather watch a movie on our blu-ray players at home than throw popcorn at the noisy kids interrupting our movie. We don’t even have to go into the video store to rent a movie anymore. We can rent a movie online now and miss out on waiting 20 minutes in line on a Friday night so you can over hear the people in front of you discussing the end of the movie you are about to rent.
We live in a society where computers and internet were developed to make our life easier. We can avoid the difficulties and annoyances that we’ve complained about for so many years. But now that its all been avoided, exactly what do we have left to talk about? Maybe thats what is so depressing.
Personally, I do the majority of my shopping in person. That’s just my preference. I do avoid the bank as much as possible and prefer to use online banking to pay my bills. I love seeing the crazy ass people in the store. Those experiences, for me, make great stories and are tons of fun to talk about. I am one of the crazy people that shows up at 3am for Black Friday sales (Christmas shopping). I talk to the cashiers at the grocery store when they seem friendly and will occasionally strike up a conversation with someone in the store. This is FAR different from how I use to be.
I use to be the person that walked into a store-bank-doctor’s office-gas station and always knew everyone there. The employees knew me by name and I usually was able to recognize at least one of the customers in the store. I knew the tellers in my bank and they knew the names of my kids. I knew the people at the video store by name and in a few cases, even who they were dating or married to. I could walk into a donut shop and my donut would be ready for me because they had seen me pull up. I didn’t really think about these changes until I read this article. I don’t know what happened but its just not like that anymore. Honestly, that IS depressing.
I too often think about the way technology has lept forward at an astounding speed…and the way we no longer rely soley on ‘archaic’ methods of contact – remember writing real letters with a pen!?! Yes, it is pretty depressing to think we can now do everything from the comfort of our armchairs. Oh, and don’t forget we don’t have to visit the book store anymore either…thanks to the Amazon Kindle and the Apple iPad! As much as it has it’s cons there are many pros to this never-ending new age we live in. I often wonder what technology will hold for us all in 100 years from now.
I agree. I completely neglected the book store in my post. Thanks for bringing that up. I have not ventured into the kindle or iPad yet, notice I said yet. I am not one to criticize others while I play on my iPhone. I love technology and am waiting in line with you to see what comes next. I just never noticed what we gave up to get these conveniences until now. Thanks a ton for sharing.
I forgot to say, could you imagine if one day all our little gizmos that we take for granted now, were suddenly taken away!!! Arrggghhh…!!!
I’d be lost for sure!
Funny, I think I have a post buried somewhere in my blog saying to go out and write a real letter for once. (And my mom does this all the time!)
As far as the book store problem, I don’t like eBooks and stuff. The only reason I have electronic books at all is because they were free, the only reason they haven’t been printed out and read that way it that I don’t have a printer or money to print.
I don’t like having to have batteries to read, and I like the feel of a good book.
I agree with you – I’m not too fond of eBooks…I have tons of PDF files of books, and although it’s not the same as eBooks, I much prefer the feel of a ‘real’ book. That said, I still love gadgets and I love the way you can have 100s of books stored in an application!
I know the guy who bags my groceries quite well and will strike up a conversation with the cashier, but that is the extent of my interaction. I can’t decide if it’s a horribly bad thing by your description though. Do I really want to watch old ladies beating each other for a doll or getting pissy at the punks texting & talking during the movie? Not particularly. I guess to avoid the depressive feelings we could do the outgoing things that we used to enjoy and skip the crap in between that is meaningless.
lol. I know what you mean. I do recall one holiday season seeing two women duking it out in toys R us. Anyone who has spent some time in a movie theater has had at least one experience with some unruly movie goers, or at least I know that I have. Although watching the ladies swing their purses in full force wasn’t what I set out to see that day, it gave me something to talk about. Rather than sit with ear buds in or playing with my phone, I had a conversation with someone recalling the funny event I happened to come across that day. I think that’s what I was trying to get at. But I absolutely know what you mean. Skipping the crap is always nice.
this is possibly the reason why so many people find it so hard to meet people (as in single people meeting new people). then we all complain!
darrnnnn you technology!!!
now wheres my Tivo, Ipod and laptop cause i miss them already….
It might be. I haven’t been single since I was 15 but I know there are a lot of those online dating sites. What happened to meeting people the old fashioned way? I’d miss them to.
Actually, I forgive people for not being in a rush to socialise the old-fashioned way. Things simply aren’t the same anymore. Sue-happy cultures and a society of ism’s make people nervous to do or say the wrong thing without provoking fights or lawsuits, whereas back then the wrong thing said could have been simply met with a laugh or nothing.
Not to mention the fact that self-absorbed narcissists and god complexes make talkin’ to many people incredibly difficult for anyone who doesn’t live religiously on aesthetics and conformity; the online stuff helps you filter out the people a bit better to find someone who’d suit. There are far too many different cliques and classes now, far more I’d say than there were before my time.
You are right. Times have changed for sure.
Technology isn’t some villain who’s invaded and jus’ taken over, it’s something we allowed to happen. Folk got used to it and never noticed our interpersonal skills becoming vestigial, so when we did finally turn around and try to talk and realise we couldn’t it was too late, but that wasn’t the problem; problem was that we didn’t give a damn anymore.
I always love sitting on the bus watching people sit down because every single person that comes on will invariably go to an empty seat, leaving an entire floor of double chairs with one person sittin’ on them, then when the next person comes on they’ll probably just stand at the front and deal with it. S’not that folk don’t even wanna talk, they don’t even wanna be near people anymore. People are takin’ xenophobia to the next level and starting to hate and fear everything that isn’t themselves!
I agree with you enough; I’m not entirely sociable; I don’t like phone calls ever (although that’s because I’d rather talk in person; phone calls are only one sense whereas talking to someone requires all the senses), but I like going out. I don’t shop online unless it’s from eBay (stuff that I can’t jus’ buy on the High Street, or don’t wanna pay full price for), I would rather go to the bank and talk to a teller than deal with that stupid online crap, I’d rather get my messages paid for with a cashier at a till than those stupid self-service things and my takeaway places know what I want before I even walk into the buildin’.
And as for shoppin’…well, I am that person who walks around talking to himself as he picks up stuff, so I don’t need to avoid people….they all avoid me! :’(
Way funny Dark Brady! Don’t feel bad. I am that crazy lady in the toilet paper aisle half the time. Our interpersonal communication has definitely suffered and it IS something that we let happen. Its just a shame is all. Thanks for sharing.
I agree with you right there, we really did let it happen, and I’d also rather talk to someone than call them, and I really do hate those disgusting self-service checkout pieces of crap.
(And now to comment my completely personal stuff about my opinions on the post.)
I fall somewhere in the middle when it comes to this problem, I am a hermit cooped up in the internet, but I can be very social too. I hate online shopping, too complicated, and it always has a certain risk of being hacked, loosing all your money.
Shopping with self-service check-out? Wtf? I am not gonna learn how to use a cheap-ass little computer system for checking my purchases! Bag my own stuff, have to push buttons, carefully insert money, have some weird change delivering something? No thanks. (Although some stores do have you self-bag even at regular check-out, and those are just fine.)
Let’s see…movies? First of all, I don’t really care for movies in the first place, second, when I do care, it’s cause it’s something that is revolutionary (anyone else reminded of the blue furry alien movie?) or my friends are making me go. In either case, it just works, and everyone seems to fit because we’re all here to see this movie and enjoy it, right?
As far as social interaction in a line? Well, I am one of those people with earbuds…but! I’m almost always talking to someone anyhow, and you’d be surprised how much of the time I’m not actually listening to anything. The funny thing is, this makes me less social, but others more social…
If someone has earbuds in, most people assume they can’t hear anything they say unless they say it directly to them. They talk openly, freely, no fear of being outcast by a stranger listening in. Meanwhile, the person wearing earbuds (notice how I’ve cut the “me” out of this explanation?) can avoid talking if they don’t want to, cause they’re the one listening to music, not available for talking.
And finally, knowing people at the stores? I will recognize people, but we don’t really talk or know each other, it’s a strictly professional relationship…and what the hell? Man that sounded weird.
Anyhow, I stand by my conviction, there’s no way to describe me, I fit somewhere in the middle with this as with everything else…I wonder if…sorry, idea forming, more appropriate elsewhere.
lol. Your ideas can form wherever they may. No worries. Self service checkout is horrible though, I would have to agree. Not is it completely impersonal but the damn machine doesn’t work right half the time and takes you longer anyways.
Eh, but if the idea’s for a post, telling it here ruins that, right?
Funny, reading your blog has really helped with inspiration…and sleepless nights. Odd combo.
For me it’s kind of the opposite. I socialize primarily through digital means, because without it, I would sadly have little social interaction with others – due to my disability, not a personal choice. Before I got sick I was the person that was always doing something. My house was the house all the friends gathered at, etc. Now if it weren’t for the internet I would barely speak to anyone outside of my family. So I’m grateful for what I have.
I see people all the time talking about how we interact less because of the internet, but for me, it’s the exact opposite. I guess it all depends on your personal circumstances, and how you use the technology.
I see what you are saying. For me, I am socializing way less than I use to. With being sick though, if it wasn’t for the internet I may not be able to socialize at all half the time. So I see where you are coming from. Thanks for stopping by Deb. How are things?
I’m doing about the same. I cancelled a doctor’s appt today. There was a bit of a blip with my medical coverage (nothing that couldn’t have been worked out with a lot of hassle) but I just didn’t feel up to the hassle. Just wasn’t in the mood to fight that fight today. It’s rainy and dreary here and my body feels like it’s been hit by a truck. On the up side… I hit a huge weight loss mark this past week. 100 pounds lost. Thyroid problems are strange things. But I have lost all of this weight by forcing myself to eat more food. Not less, more. Maybe I’ll blog about that at some point. If I can work up the energy to write a blog post this week. lol I’ve been slacking lately.
I am still enjoying your blog a great deal and I look forward to your new posts.
Sorry to hear about all of your insurance issues, and I don’t blame you for not being up for the hassle. I can relate. I know how weather can affect the thyroid. Its the opposite here, HOT HOT HOT. I’m over it. I can’t wait for the weather to cool down.
Congrats on the 100 pound accomplishment! That is awesome. you should definitely blog about. You have to treat thyroid symptoms a bit differently than you would think so I completely understand having to eat MORE to lose weight. good for you Deb, that’s great!
Yes you have been a slacker
but I understand. Just stop by and visit when you have a free second to share your thoughts. I enjoy your blog so drop a line when you have the energy to and give that adorable grand-baby a kiss whenever possible. They grow up so fast.
Don’t be a stranger. i hope you feel better soon!
In my case, I have to disagree with the idea that we are not plagued by annoying strangers. I am annoyed by strangers all the time during my commute into and out of town, as well as at the coffee shop that I go to each morning. I am also annoyed by the people I encounter on the street or in the mall when I go out on my lunch break. I wrote a post a while back about how people are rude, grumpy A-holes, and that if someone smiles at me, I actually pause to think about it because it perplexes me. People seem so very miserable these days – everyone is in a hurry to get somewhere and no one cares who they mow down on the way. No one says ‘excuse me’ anymore, no one smiles, and it’s a miracle if you receive decent customer service when you go buy something. I think that as a society, we have become way too focused on cell phones and BlackBerries, iPhones and the internet – Skype – whatever! We’ve lost that loving feeling – the one that promotes personal interaction with the people in our society. Now, I think the only place I actually get decent customer service is at Lululemon! How sad is that? But, I will say this: the dudes and dudetts over there know me, everyone is always smiling and in a good mood, and each client (I think) feels great going in and coming out of there. How sad is it that I get that level of service at a place that sells yoga clothes, but not say, at my own bank? or at the grocery store that I frequent every week? Or even at the coffee shop that I go to every morning!?
Customer service is horrible nowadays. I can’t argue with that one bit. You should be able to get decent customer service from places you visit regularly. I guess the regulars know that you’ll come back even if they are shitty or not personal, because people always do. The places that you visit less frequently because they want to make sure that you come back. They want your business. I think its a matter of convenience. A friend of mine use to frequent a coffee shop that she did not like. She had a problem with one of the employees. Instead of driving to another coffee shop, she continued to go there because it was convenient. Why don’t we search for the customer service we need anymore? Maybe people’s attitudes might be different. Employees may lose their jobs if customer service isn’t their priority. I always enjoy your thoughts. Thanks for sharing.
You make a good point; I frequent this coffee shop because it’s right there when I step off the train, has free wifi (so I can ignore real people and focus on all my virtual relationships ;-p) and big comfy couches. Are the clerks that bad? No, but after a year or two I would at least expect the guy who always seems to serve me, to smile once in a while. On the flip side, one of the other fellows is always very friendly, and one of the gals sings at the top of her lungs so that’s gotta mean something
The down side of that coffee ship besides the ignorant, unhappy coffee guy? It’s also (apparently) the best place for unwanted attention. Perhaps this is why people ignore strangers and what not – if you have the misfortune of saying hello to someone that you happen to see every day, the next thing you know, you have a stalker. I would like to mention that I have personal experience in that department LOL!
I have had an experience with this as well so I understand that point completely. Thanks for bringing that up.
Technology and being plugged in has both benefits and negatives. I love the additional connectivity I feel with my far away family and friends yet seriously dislike the constant presence of that same technology. I don’t understand the need to answer the phone or reply to a text while spending time with your friends. A quick look to see if there is a problem at home but in most cases, it is a full blown conversation via text with another friend. That my friend, is annoying.
I don’t think technology has removed the need/ability to deal with annoying people because it provides a whole different level of annoying. The constant noise, ringing, beeping etc.,
But, I do think it is isolating in a strange way. I think many people don’t like to be alone with themselves and their own minds so they turn to the device as a way out or as a distraction. Which also acts to isolate you even more. Other people won’t interrupt or even let you know if you and your device or phone call are to loud etc.,
Think of the last time you traveled by plane. As soon as the flight lands, people whip out their phones. Listen to the conversations. It is almost always minor chit chat. Hi, what are you doing? Just landed etc., Almost like a serious of Facebook status updates. I rarely hear them talking to someone waiting to pick them up etc.,
Ok, not sure if I made a cohesive thought or comment…
I never thought about it like that. You are right though, the beeping and sound alerts are all annoyances – just a different kind. It is a different level of annoying and completely isolating all at the same time. Great points! Thanks for sharing.
To be honest I am not sure what to think about it all. As far as I am concerned it’s maybe not wanting to deal with real people anymore. Nobody ever talks to a friend they don’t see that often or even a complete stranger. Maybe it is just the fact we are so busy in life that we just like to spend the little time we have left with ourselfs. To come to our sences and just let our minds run along. Besides, there is so many bad news about people who become violent to complete stranger. We might became scared of others and just want to stay safe for the time being.
On the other hand I am seeing my friends almost once or twice a week. When I see them somewhere in public we always have chat and stuff like that. I call them regularly and will put my phone aside for a good conversation.
I always have my phone on me, especially when the kids are not, just in case of an emergency. I would always prefer a good conversation to a text or phone call. I sometimes get irritated when I have a lot to say and I have to text it, to the point that I will just give up.
Sometimes I see it as pure escapism! Sadness.
I detest this common syndrome of humans being plugged into gadgets.
Many people view it as escapism, you are right. I wonder though, has society caused us to escape into technology or has society become what it is because we escape?
Thanks so much for sharing!
Oh wow! I remember the Cabbage Patch craze! I am definitely one of the people who text/email before picking up the phone. I used to have panic attacks about ordering pizzas! I think you have found a good balance of online/out-of-the-house experiences. I like to think I do the same things. I definitely relish in the stories of odd people out in public. I sometimes make up stories in my head about their lives. Sometimes I get attached to them and are sad to see them go.
I know people who have panic attacks when ordering pizzas. Thats not as uncommon as you would think I guess. The cabbage patch thing was huge. Kind of like the whole tickle me Elmo thing a few years back.
AWESOME post I love it, i too think about these topics about technology and communication.
“Do we not want to interact with people because technology has taken us over, or has technology taken over because we just don’t want to deal with people anymore?”
this is a verrryyy good question.
Thanks so much!
I read this great article recently:
http://www.cracked.com/article_15231_7-reasons-21st-century-making-you-miserable.html
Thanks for sharing. That was the article that I had read also but when I went back to find it, I couldn’t. Thanks again for sharing it!