The Gene Pool
My life as a Bumper Sticker
Everyone has a family member that they wished they didn’t have. In my case, I have many. But of all the people that I share genes with, there is one family member that disappoints me more than the rest. I think that this disappointment stems from the fact that she was the only family member of mine that I expected more from. There was quite a few years of my life that I stopped talking to almost everyone in my family. It was more peaceful that way. I concentrated on the important things like raising my kids, going back to school, and my friends. You see, with the kind of family that I have, my friends were less threatening.
Then one day out of the blue I get a phone call from my cousin. She took the time to hunt me down and somehow through an internet search came across my cell phone number. I know, scary right? I hadn’t talked to her since we were teens and we had gotten along pretty good so what the hell. She claimed to not have contact with anyone either and we set off on a path to be our own family. I really liked her husband and thought he was great. She had a boy that was the same age as my youngest. She lived out of state but managed to drive out to visit me. All was well.
Then I made the rash decision to pick up and move to Las Vegas. This was after driving 23 hours out to visit her. It was nice to have family again. When I broke the news to her that we were moving, and 4 hours closer to her direction, she was happy for me. “I’ll have to talk to my hubby too and maybe we’ll join ya!” I ended the conversation thinking she was joking but two months later we arrived in Las Vegas. One month later, they did too. I had offered for them to stay with us while she found jobs and got a place to live. That was the beginning of the end of our relationship.
They stayed with us for four months, in which time I realized that she wasn’t the mom to her kids or the wife to her husband that she had led me to believe. I am engulfed by my husband and kids and love every minute of the time I spend taking care of them. She turned out to be quite the opposite. She spent most of her time sitting out in my garage talking on the phone while I took care of the kids. She had two when moving in with us. During that time, I had to take her oldest down to register him for school because she wasn’t making an effort to do it and I spent two out of the four months attempting to potty train her three year old. She completely neglected her husband, and after he worked 12 hour days he would have to come home and take care of the kids. I made sure he was fed because I just felt so bad. In the end, they ended up moving back where they came from and we really haven’t talked since. It’s a shame because I really liked her husband.
Recently I discovered that she was on facebook and it was pointed out to me how truly low she had fallen. She posted information on her fights with her husband, the fights she was having with the trashy women down the street, and the way that she lied to have her husband arrested, the affair she was having, and how her kids were driving her crazy. Is this really what people should be posting? How disgusting. After everything that she has done to that poor man, he keeps taking her back. Oh well, I’m over it.
I dedicate this bumper sticker to you, dear cousin of mine. Get the hell out of my gene pool!