Dare to Share ~
With the holidays fast approaching, I have started thinking about gifts for the family and couldn’t help but think about that ONE very special gift I received a while back. Every year I hear people share stories either on the radio or on TV about the most ridiculous gift they have ever received, or the worst gift they have ever gotten. I want to share the most spectacular gift I have ever received with you all. This gift was spectacular, not because of what it is (which is truly spectacular by itself), but because of the great memory I have of receiving this gift.
It was shortly after I regained contact with the cousin from my post The Gene Pool that I had invited her and her husband over for Christmas. Actually they invited themselves, but that’s another story altogether. Anyways, they planned on driving in, staying for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and then leaving the following morning. Our family has a tradition where the entire family comes over to my house on Christmas Eve to exchange gifts and have a nice dinner. It is a lot of fun.
So imagine this — we are all sitting around the tree having a great old time when my cousin leans over in my ear. Her husband had a gift for me but wanted to give it to me in private. Um, ok. This caught me off guard and got my mind wandering because she had just revealed to me earlier that day that her husband had admitted to having an erotic dream about me. So, now I’m trying to figure out what in the hell this gift could be. Not only that, but how do I react? Should I let my husband in on the whole “dream” experience? He still had no clue. A part of me wanted to hit the floor and make for the door army style. Being the me that I am though, I was more curious to see this whole situation play out. First, I just had to know what was so secretive about this gift that it had to be given to me in private. Second, my cousin’s attitude about the whole thing was intriguing to me. If my husband had told me that he had an erotic dream about one of my family members, and enjoyed it, I’d be quite pissed. She didn’t seem to mind and actually joked about it. Hmm.
Later that evening we poured ourselves a drink and plopped our butts in the garage while the family spilled out of the house heading home. Some of the family that was staying with us decided to check out a local casino (still living in California at the time). I handed over the garage door opener so they could let themselves in if we were all asleep when they returned. Off they went. After about 20 minutes of sitting with my husband, cousin and her husband, she leaned over to her hubby and told him to “get it”. I assumed that this meant the gift that he had for me and I was right. He returned with a beautifully wrapped gift. As he handed it to me he said, “you’re favorite color is purple, right?” I smiled as I opened and realized that it was a purple vibrator. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I received a purple, waterproof vibrator from my cousin’s husband for Christmas! That’s just where it gets interesting. So then my cousin tells me that he has already put in the batteries, so in good fun I proceeded to take it out. My husband sat there with his jaw dropped, still completely oblivious as to what is going on. I turned the vibrator on (we are all a bit tipsy at this 
point) and we had a great laugh. That was until the garage door started to open on us. Caught off guard with a vibrating dildo in my hand, I panicked and threw it across the garage. The problem was that it landed in between the wall and my husbands work bench. Still on, it was vibrating against the bench and turned heads as the family returning home had to walk by while piling back into the house. We thought we were in the clear until my grandma stopped and demanded to know what the hell the vibration was. I got up and pulled out the vibrator from behind the bench. I tried to explain that it was a present that I had just opened, blah blah blah. She stood straight faced through it all. When I was done stumbling over myself she looked straight at me and asked “where in the hell is mine?”
My grandma passed away a few years back but she was one of my favorite people and this remains one of my most cherished gift-giving memories.
What’s yours?
To be honest with you, I lack such stories about gifts on any holiday at all. My family is the kind of family that only has decent presents, in a decent atmosphere and hates ‘funny’ gifts, comments or actions during times like these. So maybe if I dig down real deep into my mind I will find one, but for now I have to skipp. I promise to share it with you soon as I come up with a memory about anything that is worth sharing.
Then about yours, I truly enjoyed the story and it put a smile on my face reading what your grandmother said. How can one not like that story, right? Fantastic blog, again!
Thanks so much Marcos. Definitely share whenever the memory arises!
Oh my gosh. I think if I were in that situation I would be a horrible mixture of offended and creeped out. But the whole throwing it across the floor as someone comes in, totally sounds like something that would happen to me. Except I wouldn’t get as funny of a response as your grandma gave! LOL
Your story makes me think of something that happened to me in junior high. Maybe if I have more time later I will share it on my blog so you can laugh at me.
Please share! I love sharing these kinds of stories.
Hello! My favorite color is purple!!! LOL – this was awesome . . Grandma’s are thee best I do agree.
Yes they are!
AWKWARD!! On the plus side your gran sounded like a real laugh…I bet you miss her.
I have a little pebble that was given to me by my eldest son who was only about 7 at the time and that means a lot to me and I keep it in my little wooden keepsake box. I also have a picture drawn by my second son of a vase with a couple of flowers in it – which has to be said is very, Van Gogh! I have that framed and hanging on the wall in my bedroom. My daughter is always drawing little pictures and writing little ‘I love you’ notes which I keep in my purse! It’s little things like these that mean the most.
How incredibly sweet is that pebble? I love it. When mine were really small they each gave me a shell they collected on our first trip to the beach. I still have them and keep them in my jewelry box. My oldest painted me a picture of some flowers in a vase also. I’ll have to take a picture and do a post on children’s art.
That must be a mom thing.
I saved some “pretty” rocks that my daughter brought me a couple of years ago when I was stuck in bed re-cooperating from a bad fall. They still make me smile every time I see them thinking of how cute she was when she brought them to me.
Definitely a mom thing!
LOL! Your grandmother sounds exactly like you! I love it!
I think my favorite gifts come from my grandmothers, who sadly, have both passed away. My paternal gran would make us things every Christmas – for every single one of her grandkids (she had 6 kids and each of them had a min of 2 kids each!). She would make the girls’ nighties, and the boys PJs, but my favorite were the woolly mittens. I saw quite a few of those growing up. And, she would sign our cards ‘Mr. and Mrs’ which I always found funny because well, she was referring to herself and my grand-dad.
My maternal grandmother knew I had a penchant for U2 and chocolate so… she would give me Ferrero Rocher or money. The money was to buy myself U2 treats
My grandmother was French, but as all her kids and her kids friends had gone to English school, she always attempted to speak in English. So her trademark signature was always ‘God Bless’ and she would sign the cards ‘mom.’
These are simple things, but they were some of the best parts of growing up. My paternal gran passed away when I was 18 so while I did get to know her, I had built a much more intimate relationship with my maternal gran, who only passed away 2 years ago. Oh how I miss her. She was one fabulous lady
Hmm, I smell a blog post coming on! Thanks J!
U2 and chocolate. We have a lot more in common than I thought. Simple things mean the most sometimes. Mr. and Mrs. has to be the cutest thing I’ve heard.
Glad to have inspired a new post!
I’m with Marcos in this also. B-O-R-I-N-G family and gifts. Even my husband has yet to give me something I’ll cherish.
Your story made me laugh because it’s those sex toys that are just the funniest! My husband and I walk around those “adult stores” from time to time and just crack up! Don’t know why my husband has never given me anything from one of those stores.
What did you think when your grandmother said “Where in the hell is mine?” I would have died! Learned something new that night….grandma was cool!
Grandma was definitely one of the coolest people I’ve ever met!
Getting that gift from a family member would be weird. I’ would have turned so red. Your grandmother sounded awesome!
It was definitely an awkward moment, that’s for sure. Grandma was hilarious.
I love this post. I have a story about a vibrator and family member of myself, but it was a practical joke regarding Airport Security and totally embarrassing me. One day I will post about it.
I have no stories that could ever compare to this one! I am still laughing my head off!
You’ll definitely have to post about it now because you’ve peaked my curiosity
I knew I liked you! U2 fan!
Absolutely! From a young age.
AHAHAHA your grandma sounds AMAZING! Totally hilarious situation you got yourself in! I think if i was watching this whole thing unfold I would have peed in my pants from laughing so much!
I almost did
BEST Christmas, gift giving story EVER! ROFLMAO
Thanks so much!:)
EVER!!
Lol
Pingback: A Gift that Kept on Giving « www.DorkyDeb.com
HAHAHA this was great. I think it would have made me feel uncomfortable getting a vibrator from a relative’s husband that had an erotic dream about me. But I guess your grandma broke the ice about the situation! thanks for sharing this post
It was really strange and I didn’t quite know how to react at first but grandma came to the rescue!
Pingback: » A Gift that Kept on Giving DorkyDeb.com
I have got to remember, do not come to your site when next to a sleeping family member who has to get up early in the morning.
You always make me forget they are here, until after I bust a gut! lol So worth it!
My presents from my husband weren’t about the present, it was how he wrapped the present and what he put inside them. Over the years, he pulled something different each time. Our first year together, I shook one when he was in the next room and a cow bell went off. He has put pecans, books, batteries, anything he could find to throw me off. He wrapped some in burlap, with duck tape, I think he may have borrowed yours
, he hid some and made me walk around them all day, never seeing them. But never a purple thingee… lol
Mom hid stuff to. I obviously was a brat! One year, I begged for a nice stereo for most of the year. I got up Christmas morning, no stereo anywhere. After we opened presents, I sat on the couch, probably moping. She asked me to go make her some coffee. I think I had that yeah right look on my face. She finally demanded I go make her coffee. Never did I notice, there was a radio playing in the background that you could barely hear. I walked into the kitchen and there sat my shiny new stereo. I think I was two inches tall!
Ha ha! You just reminded me of the year my kids got their phones. I put them in places and pulled my mom on them. I asked one to go make their bed. I asked the other one to clean something. It took a long time!
Have you seen the video on youtube about the worst Christmas present ever?
We got some great ideas off of this one last year.
He has another one… I ate your Halloween candy