Crazy Postal Bitches
Late Monday evening I made my first trip to the post office. I was really excited heading there because I was mailing off some Christmas cards to my invisible blogging friends. Some of these friends live in other countries and I had never mailed anything internationally before. So the hubby and I take a ride and we end up at a post office substation (a smaller post office inside of another establishment). This particular post office was in the back of a Shell Gas Station. I’m sure that the purpose of the hubby taking me there was to save time. Generally, the lines at the post office become horrific here as of the first week of December and the line at this place was only 6 people deep. There was one woman working alone behind the counter but she seemed to have her shit together and the line moved rather quickly. We had a stack of cards to mail that we already had stamps on, a handful of international cards that I had no idea how to mail, and a few items that my mother-in-law had left behind when she was here that we needed to send back. I reminded the Hubs that we needed a box for his mom’s stuff as we took our turn at the counter. The Hubs handed the woman our stack of stamped cards informing her they already had postage and she put them in the box. The rest of time at the counter went like this:
Hubs: We also have a handful of cards that need to be sent internationally. Is postage different?
Postal Lady: Um, yeah. It depends which country it’s going to. Some will be an extra 78 cents and others will be 98 cents.
Me: Ok, no big deal. (hands them over)
Postal Lady: Sweden, Canada, New Zealand- I know where these are. Holland? The computer says there is no such thing as Holland. Where are you trying to send this?
Husband: (smirks) um Holland.
Me: Holland exists because I know someone there. (irritated)
Postal Lady: Are you sure?
Me: Well that’s what he says and he lives there so……
(customers behind us in line start to laugh)
Postal Lady picks up the last international envelope and stares at it funny.
Postal Lady: What country is this going to?
Me: I think it’s Canada.
Postal Lady: Ok…. well…. Where is it, since you are not sure.
Me: It in the north-east most part of Canada.
Postal Lady: Oh, by Alaska?
The Hubs: What? (amused) No, NORTH-EAST. Does it really matter honestly? She moved in with the polar bears. Can’t we just pay the extra 20 cents to ensure she gets its?
Postal Lady: Well I really don’t want you guys to pay anything more than you have to.
(The Hubs looks at me like he’s going to kill this chick over 20 cents)
Me: And we need a flat rate box for these few things.
Postal Lady: Shit, well you should have said that FIRST.
Me: (turning to the hubs and smacking him) TOLD YOU!
Postal Lady: What is is with men? When will they realize that the women are always right? Why is it that things always have to go this far? Do you know how ridiculous is is to see a 350 pound man on his knees begging for you to stay? It’s ridiculous. Why couldn’t he just take care of his shit the first time around. Oh I’m going to change. Oh, everything is going to be better.How many times has he said that? Has anything ever changed? Oh sure, it changed for a week or so and then you’re right back to the way things were. I’m over it, ya know? I mean he should have thought about all this before he ended up on his knees begging for me to stay.
(she slides our receipt across the counter)
Postal Lady: You all have a Merry Christmas
The Hubs: Ya, um, good luck with that.
We both smile at each other as we walk back to the car and bust up laughing after we get in. I somehow think I’m related to this crazy bitch.
So there you have it ladies and gentlemen. My very first international shipping experience! It was exciting and an experience I will truly remember for quite some time. If I could ask a favor? Please let me know, either by comment somewhere or email, when you have received your card. I’m not quite sure what she was smoking and would like to make sure you get your cards. For anyone else who would like to receive a thypolar family Christmas card that has not already sent me an address, please email me an address I can send it to. I will be making another trip to the post office by the end of this week.
LMAO! OK, I’m sorry to be some blunt, but that woman is an idiot. Was she exempt from geography classes while in high school? I would like point out that Canada is not by Alaska! DUH!? At least not the Northeast portion of it. I don’t know about the West side :-p As for Holland…. DUH? I’m guessing this chick’s never left the US. She should watch more television with her deadbeat husband – maybe they’ll mention Canada and Holland! Or better yet, when you go back, bring her a subscription to National Geographic. Maybe that will help :-p
National Geographic for the Win! LMAO, that and a copy of a World Atlas. It was entertaining, if nothing else.
F*ck me! I am living in a country that does not excist. Maybe that is why they speak Dutch anywhere else in the world (okay, except for Belgium, but I guess that doesn’t excist as well) So there are the first twenty years of my life flushed down the toilet. Thank you postal office lady!
Well, on the brighter side of things, you can name your country whatever you want now. Since Holland doesn’t exist it could be come “Experification”. The land of Dutch speaking, invisible friends! lol
And wouldn’t that make me some kind of king or president as well?
Yes, I believe it would! I think we may have stumbled onto something here…….
Hey, it exists! Kinda… for now… I’m really hoping it’s still there when I return for the holidays
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Me too!
She’d never heard of Holland? Really? Maybe she was just distracted by her man troubles, and it caused a momentary brain fart. Other people oversharing always makes me happy.
Damnit… my postal people are so boring. I need this lady to come work at my postal office. We need that kind of “crazy”. It makes life worth living!
Absolutely! Do you think she knows where Texas is?
Whoa that might be saying way too much!
So true………..
That is hilarious! We use a little tiny local post office for a lot of stuff. And they are so funny. An older couple run it together and I swear it’s like stepping back in time to Mayberry there. But in a good way, usually.
Those are always the greatest of places to shop at!
Seriously? Holland doesn’t exist to the computer? … And she’s too stupid to know it exists?
North-EAST Canada. Oh, you mean Alaska? No, the other freaking side of another freaking COUNTRY, not a state. XD (Yes, I know I’m exaggerating it. At least she didn’t think that you were talking about Alaska, I’ve heard of some people that think Canada and Alaska are the same thing. O.o)
lol, I can see where that could be terribly confusing
First thing that jumped out to me as a RED flag “This particular post office was in the back of a Shell Gas Station” HAHAHAH – wow! I would have gone postal on that chick — HAHAHA gone “postal” haha get it get it – ummm ok I need to just stop typi
LMAO, right? Having a postal sub-station in the back of a gas station is actually pretty common here. I guess some brilliant individual decided to make life easier for us all. Rob a gas station, grab a gallon a milk, and send your warmest holiday wishes all at the same time!
LOL! Man I must live in the ghetto because they keep our post offices and sub post offices under lock and key – literally HAHAHAHAHA
I share your pain. My local post office keeps claiming that I don’t live at my house. You know, the place where the rumbly little truck delivers my mail? At various times, my husband didn’t live there, my business didn’t do business there, and my (five year old) son didn’t live there. But we still get mail for the now-deceased former owner of the house and for our former tenants. AND for the people who live a street over who happen to have the same street and house number (but different street designation.) We threatened to sue. We now get our mail. All of it.
Thanks for sharing! I can’t believe the stupidity of some people. Maybe that’s what Marcos should do! He should sue the postal service for losing his whole damn country. That should be worth a fortune, LOL!
Holland! You know, the place with the windmills and wooden shoes! LOL
Geez, I want some of whatever she was on until after the New Year.
Ah hahaha… Holland doesn’t exist?! Goodness gracious!
I got my card
Thank you! Today I’m getting off work early to buy Christmas cards and postage! No standing in line for me if I can help it.
Actually, I still have the ex-bf’s crap in my friend’s car… it’s been in his trunk for 4 mos now… it needs to be sent ASAP. Oh well.
You’re very welcome. Thanks for letting me know you got it!
Wow! I’m so glad I could be a part of causing madness on your visit to the post office. Well, at least you got your stuff mailed. They still won’t give me a PO box…poo-heads.
Sorry you are still without a PO BOX. Hopefully you get your card. I’m am glad you caused some madness, it made the day so interesting!
Just a heads up: A 3lb box shipped to the UK will cost you $34. Yeah, it’s that expensive!
Haven’t gotten the card yet, then again, I live in buttfuck Pennsylvania.
How can you not know where Holland is? Or even that it’s a country. What a douche!
It’s all there on the computer. geesh……
You do realize the moment you walked in, you and hubby entered the Twilight Zone?
Holy crap that’s expensive! I thought it seemed a little strange, and there were so many damn stars……twilight zone is making so much sense to me now!
Hahahaha!! Don’t know why but I immediately thought of Annie Wilkes (Kathy Bates) in Misery – she didn’t have a mallet next to her, did she!!?
LMAO, next to her? No. Underneath her counter? Possibly……..
The Post Office is such a bizarre place!
Yes it is
Ey, i am constantly visiting ur page but never noticed that you’re giving out Family Christmas Cards! if you will ship one to the Philippines, that’s gonna be ur 1st Asian International mail
I would LOVE TO!!!! Go ahead and email me your mailing address and I will send it when I hit the post office tomorrow. I email you back with my address.
this story was hilarious!! I love love love the fact that you are sending cards to us blogger friends. great idea
can’t wait to get it!
I’ll be heading out to the post office somewhere this week – I hope they have the same kind of people there as they do in Vegas! It makes a trip to the post office so much less boring….
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Definitely true! Please let me know how it goes.
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