Afraid to Cough
So here is some advice that I thought would help you all through your weekend~
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Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
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A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button Monday morning.
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If you have a really bad annoying cough that is now interupting your daily life and driving you mad, just take a large dose of laxatives. Then you’ll be afraid to cough, problem solved!
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You only need two tools in life – WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.
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If you can’t fix it with a hammer, then you’ve probably got an electrical problem.
Now lets see if someone can help ME out with my questions~
Why in the world are there braille dots on a drive up ATM keypad?
Why is it we live in a society where a pizza is likely to be delivered to your home quicker than the police or ambulance would arrive if you were to call 911?
First, I wholeheartedly agree about the WD40 and Duct tape! Both can solve numerous issues – except perhaps the asses I am faced with every day. Maybe I can duct tape them to a wall and spray WD40 at them.
There is brail on the ATM keyboard because blind people need money too woman! :-p
As for the pizza, I’m not sure, but it’s likely for the same reason that you find the cops sitting in Dunkin Donuts when you need them!
You’re right. I mean, if I was blind and drove my ass to the ATM and couldn’t read the buttons I’d be pissed and probably run someone over on the way home LMAO
“Drive up” atm’s have braile For the same reason the lane markers do. Blind people can drive by braile , you do don’t you? ( driving with Thy, bump bump bump …….. no bump? Oh the lane markers ended…. the curb will guide me now……. crash bang boom)
You will die boy
Hmmmm….. I never thought about that on the ATM machines….but you are so right! That one makes no sense. I totally agee with the everything can be fixed with a hammer analogy!
Have a great weekend J and Mr. T !
You too Mark!
“You only need two tools in life – WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.” I found my life’s motto!
I used to say “duck tape” though. Actually, I think I still do… .
http://www.kingstonszim.com/media/ccp0/prodsm/duck_tape.jpg
Pfieuw….
To answer your questions: laziness (lack of willpower to 1) produce to separate types of buttons, 2) think when which should be used). and Italians breed faster than cops/doctors. there’s more of them. and they’re everywhere.
I said duck tape for the longest time too. Then I was at the hardware store one time and saw a display that said “duct tape” and I was like “no shit?” Lol
LMAO!! The laxative suggestion…..that’s hilarious!
Not sure why there’s braille on the ATM? I want to know what the purpose of the Caps Lock is. To drive me fucking crazy??????
Always have the WD 40 and copious amounts of duct tape. Always.
That’s so true! I forgot about the caps lock. See? They’re out to get us.
So sorry to interrupt, but I have some nerd-status to live up to …
http://tywkiwdbi.blogspot.com/2011/01/say-goodbye-to-caps-lock.html
Caps lock – taken care of! (well… almost
)
That’s awesome!
I am totally offended by your question! You dont think blind people need money too. Poor blind people get their car, drive all the way to their nearest ATM, and try to withdrawal funds. Pretty soon you’ll be like why is Braille on the bathroom sign? Who knew blind people need to shit too?!
LMAO! Girl you crack my ass up. They have to shit too? That answers so many questions…..
LOL…I’ve often wondered about the braille thing.
I knew I wasn’t alone in this!
“Why is it we live in a society where a pizza is likely to be delivered to your home quicker than the police or ambulance would arrive if you were to call 911?”
I can answer that one for you.
One simple reason:
money
You get your money back if your pizza doesn’t get there in time.
You do not get your tax dollars back if the police or ambulance don’t.
I like those tips you just gave us. Will be using them wisely.
To answer you questions:
1. It was more experneisve and that was just what they needed to spend the whole budget they were allowed to use!
2. The Pizza guy drives with 100 miles an hour throug and ally!
After watching some of these dominoes guys drive, I don’t doubt it
I don’t mean to be a serial commenter on your blog, but this one too is great–read something like it years ago in an email. They had another one–if you are choking on an ice cube, pour boiling water down your throat; it will melt the ice cube, saving your life. It’s funny you mentioned the keypad–just noticed a couple days ago that the panel saw where I work has braille on its keypad! Please try my blog, if you don’t mind the shameless self-promotion. I’m subscribing to yours in any case.
Serial commenters are always welcome here! lol. no worries
laxatives huh? I’m going to tell my room-mate right now! She just complained about coughing. bahahah thanks!