Mamby Pamby Land
A blogging friend recently had a post titled “Life Lessons” where she listed some things that she has learned over her life time. The last thing she listed was that Mamby Pamby Land had her intrigued. Being as I go there regularly, I felt compelled to share this info with her (they know me well there). I also gave her the option of saying that I sent her (she’d get the VIP treatment, of course). What is this Mamby Pamby Land, you ask?
Therapist: “Maybe we should chug on over to mamby-pamby land where maybe we can find some confidence for you, you jackwagon.” - Geico commercial 2010
With all the recent media coverage of said “Mamby Pamby Land”, I knew that people would start asking questions. Was I truly panicked? No. Mamby Pamby land isn’t for everyone. I knew that when I revealed I had been to Mamby Pamby Land it would open up a sea of questions. The first, and most important question came almost instantly.
“What’s it like in Mamby Pamby Land?”
In Mamby Pamby Land, all is right in the world. The things I see out of the corner of my eye are still there when I turn to look at them. People don’t look at me like I’m crazy when I ask if they’ve said something. When I think I may have just heard something and ask others if they’ve just heard it too, they all say yes (and with great enthusiasm). My favorite songs are always playing on the radio, the news is produced by the onion network, and my cranberry and vodka is always full. In this land of ridiculously dressed people (providing hours of entertainment), no one invades my personal space while shopping. Mr T knows how to drive (without giving me a heart attack) and the kid’s beds are always made. There is always a fresh pot of coffee and the smell of it brewing always fills the house. It is always warm enough to get naked but cold enough to be able to light a fire. My favorite shows and movies are what is listed in the guide. This is a land where a winning lottery ticket isn’t the answer. This is the land of inner insanity. They know me well here and I feel welcome.
The second and third questions were of no surprise either. “Bubbles? Unicorns?” - But, of course!
Is the most important thing about Mamby Pamby Land what it’s like there? I’m not so sure. The final question asked may be.
“Hmmm, I’m kinda likin’ Mamby Pamby Land. How do I get there?”
The road to Mamby Pamby Land is different for everyone because it all depends on where you are starting from. For me it started with a few medical disorders. I took a right at the bumps in the road which led me to a place called Insomnia. Traveling through Insomnia, I found myself moving slowly down a road of sleep deprivation. I parked in the town of marriage and motherhood where I thought I could finally rest for a bit (boy was I mistaken). After renting a trailer to haul along my three comedians and crazy side kick, I continued along the path of sleep deprivation to Hallucination Square. In the center of Hallucination square (between where the unicorns are sleeping and the bubbles start to blow) is a street sign that reads “Mamby Pamby Land” with arrows pointing in all directions. I knew that I arrived. Mind you, if I make a u-turn I’ll just be sitting as a grumpy ass bitch on the couch with my drink.
So, if you are heading in the direction of Mamby Pamby Land and are hoping for the VIP experience, please tell them I sent you. If you are hoping for an easier route to get there, plan a trip to Vegas. I’ll take you there. Cranberry and vodka anyone?
I guess I know where we are honey mooning at.
Tell me, are their mojitos fresh?
I would also like a remote control to carry around solely for the mute button and fast forward button.
I gotta pack up up my stuff here in La La land and trade up.
“Moving on up, to Mamby Pamby Land!”
LMAO! Mojitos are ALWAYS fresh and you can request a remote control upon arrival. No worries! Get packin girl
(Whispering) Don’t tell anyone….but I have been vacationing in Mamby Pamby Land for decades! Love the place! Don’t tell everyone how to get here! I like it uncrowded just like it is now! Pass the Cranberry and Vodka! and tell that Unicorn to get out of the hot tub!
You are right! What was I thinking?! I’ll tell the blue unicorn to get out of the hot tub if you tell the purple polka dotted one to pass the chips!
Don’t worry guys i’ll pick everyone up from the airport and take them to “Drai’s Afterhours” . After their first “drink” they’ll think they are in mamby pamby and never be the wiser. No worries “I got this” 8)
Oh lord. Where have I heard that before?
I guess I am going to hop on a plane to vegas and take your short cut to Mamby Pamby Land. Just for the fun that Cranberry Vodka will bring me and ofcourse your company.
Sweet! I’ll have Mr T pick you up from the airport
In that case I’d better rent a car myself. For maybe he is going to take that phone out of his pocket and all. Hehe
LMAO! You learn quickly my friend
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR CLARIFYING ALL THIS! *sigh* I may have been there in the late 70′s, early 80′s? I recall a place that played my favorite songs…..and all the street lights are green, going one way or the other. It’s all coming back to me. Long Island Ice Teas were flowing from faucets I think!
Or maybe this was one hell of a drug trip on a Friday night in August! Mmmmmm, nah.
This was hysterical! What a vivid imagination you have!
I so need a trip to Mamby Pamby Land!
Thanks for the shoutout!!
You are very welcome, my friend!
You definitely need to book your next vacation in Mamby Pamby land. Make sure to look for me when you get there! Glad I could clarify it all for you 
I was JUST thinking about this place while I plotted my getaway from my life! How coincidental that you should offer this up today! The only difference between your land and my land, is that mine is in Australia. Now, where is that damn plane already?
Mamby Pamby Land sounds wonderful! I always wanted to see a unicorn.
Mamby Pamby Land here I come! I do like a twist in my vodka and cranberry though!
A twist? What kind of twist?
You had me at the PS’d Namby Pamby sign
No deserted islands in mamby pamby land??? Oh wait, I guess we won’t need it there.
From my daughter…
What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?
Awe…sheet!
I like your site very much. You are strong & positive. It’s great. As for Mamby Pamby Land – I never knew it REALLY existed!
It is Byrony my dear and I am going to tell you I’ve gotten lost on my way to Mamby Pamby Land and I’d like someone to come find me. In my land people are always trying to talk me into something I don’t want to do, I get lost on my way to the doctors office because I feel asleep on the way, I have people begging me for things I have and they want and that is no joke, people owe me money and never pay me back. And last and not least, my sister threatens to break our lease, move out, and leave me by myself with no one I know in a strange state. I am about to break down, I’m on more medication then the Goddess should allow, and I’m not going to make it to Mamby Pamby land because I am going to get kidnapped and killed and dumped in a field. This has been a bad week. So please help me out and give me some good advice please.