Ninjas, Zombies and the Yellow Light Mystery
Last night Mr T and I pile in the car with the kids. (16) had batting practice so we headed to the cages.
I usually turn on the radio before we even back out of the driveway, but lately I’ve been leaving it off. I’ve discovered that since the kids have gotten older, the bickering back and forth of
“He’s touching me”
“She’s breathing on me”
has come to an end.
Phew
Obviously not my kids
Even though the reign of backseat terror has come to an end, a new type of torture has emerged. They now challenge each other to see which one of them has the greatest intellect. This is where my entertainment comes in!
So, a know-it-all, a blonde, and a jock get into a back seat…..
This is the cast, I swear. (16) is a know-it-all who will duel to the death to prove he is right, even though he can clearly see that he is NOT. (12) is naturally a dirty blonde and fits the role well. We have dyed her hair brown in an attempt to redeem her intelligence but apparently the blonde is to the brain. (11) is naturally good at everything that he does but has the kind of personality where you could envision him crushing a beer can on his forehead.
Welcome to my car:
(mumbling went on in the backseat for a while and I hadn’t paid attention because Mr T and I were talking)
(12): Mom, what does a yellow light mean?
Me: It means to slow down because the light is about to turn red.
(12): (turns to 16) See? Oh, you got told. What now, huh? What now?
(16): No it doesn’t. That’s not what a yellow light means.
(11): Oh lord.
Me: Get over yourself son, that’s what a yellow light means.
(16): No it doesn’t. A yellow light means two things.
(12): No it doesn’t.
Me: Okay, what would those things be?
(16): A yellow light means either slam on the brakes or floor it.
(12 rolls her eyes, I chuckle to myself and 11 laughs out loud)
The conversation then quickly changes to a show called The Walking Dead that we’ve recently discovered. (12) sat down along with myself and Mr T to watch the first season. We fell in love with the show and had all 6 episodes done within two weeks. (16) has an intense fear of zombies and refused to sit down and watch it with us, but he insisted on needing to know the story line.
(16): (to 12) Did they get to the CDC?
Mr T: If you are not going to actually sit down and watch it with us then we are not going to take the time to explain it to you.
(16): I want to know what happened and I tried to sit and watch it but I can’t. You just don’t understand.
(12): It’s pretty sad that I am braver than you are.
(16): Um…I don’t think so.
Mr T: She’s the only one who will take the trash out in the dark.
(16): There could be zombies out there.
Me: Are you serious?
(11): Do you know what I do? When I get to the door, I remind myself that it didn’t happen before and it won’t happen now.
(16): Are you kidding me? That’s like saying “since I’ve been to this liquor store before and it wasn’t robbed, it won’t get robbed while I’m in it this time either”
LORD HELP US ALL IF HE RUNS FOR PRESIDENT
While at batting practice the entertainment continued. My kids were all blessed with my spectacular sense of humor. If they get bored, they usually find a way to entertain themselves.
What happens when you take a 12 year old girl to the batting cages. She gets bored.
THIS IS 12
AND
THIS IS 12 AS A NINJA
Not only did she think it would be entertaining if she acted like a ninja, she also felt it necessary to run around informing everyone in the place of her new-found ninja status.
She gets it from me and I love her!
12 is awesome. Because she dresses as a ninja and because she takes the trash out in the dark.
She definitely rocks!
12 is super cool!
Seriously … I still think I am a ninja. She will never out grow it! Never!
Hey I would vote for 16 to be president!
Compared to the people we have had and almost had (Dear God NO not Sarah Palin?!!?)
he would be an upgrade!
He would definitely be an upgrade from Sarah Palin. I’ll let him know that he has your vote. Just know that if he is elected and there is ever a zombie apocalypse, he will abandon us all.
Hmm that is something to think about … zombies are always a threat!
P.S. I love the Animaniacs … best cartoon ever!
I love listening to my son and his friends talk. For some reason, they seem to think that just because I’m old, I can’t hear what they’re saying. Once in a while, I have to remind them I’m there by loudly clearing my throat, but most of the time I’m just trying really hard not to laugh.
Apparently, when we became parents we lost our ability to hear and see. Let’s not forget that they seem to think we were never their age ourselves and don’t have the ability to think logically!
LOL, you don’t even need to go to the movies – you’ve got entertainment in the back seat! 12 rocks it! I would suggest sporting all black though – it’s a much more effective Ninja look – especially when trying to scare 16
Absolutely! Unfortunately for her, the transition into Ninja-hood was on the fly so she was fashionably unprepared. She rarely wears black. She’s more of a neon, Punky Brewster kind of a gal. I’m trying to teach her that part of the ninja ways are being able to think a few steps ahead.
Is there any other option for anyone but to like your kids? They are so hilarious for what I can tell.
I think that it is impossible to dislike my kids. They are a blast to be around, have a hell of a sense of humor, and can make you laugh so hard you piss yourself. What’s not to love?
Your kids sound like so much fun! You should video them in the car. This way you’ll have it as proof for when they are grown with their own children.
-FringeGirl
12 rocks! She reminds me of little pkitass.
I love that your kids are witty.
At least they’re all thinking and interacting with eachother. And not calling eachother nasty little names like mine do.
12 was flirting with all the other guys.
Sorry, but yellow does mean floor it. DUH!
Hahaha! First your 12 year old is beautiful! Your 16 year old cracks me up and sounds like my son. We already have some interesting conversations taking place and mine are only 8 and 6, it is going to be hilarious when they get older!
Get’em Ninja Girl!
I actually remember having these “pseudo-intellectual” arguments with my brother in the car when were growing up. This made me laugh. I especially liked your sons assessment of what the yellow light means…it is quite fitting and I agree 100 percent but if my child asks, I’m telling them the same thing you told your daughter:)
Thanks girl! I have to be the responsible parent, even when I’d rather be laughing.
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I love your family! this post cracked me up.
Yep, I guess they’re alright. I’ll keep them around for a bit longer