Mission Sanity

Better late than never, I thought it was time to share our version of the events that occurred during Miss Fnkybee’s visit to Vegas.

sexy, right?

Mr T and I were really excited when we found out that Fnkybee and her hubby “B” were taking their vacation here in Vegas. I love me some Fnkybee and couldn’t believe that I was actually going to get the chance to meet my secret online lover in flesh and blood. But excitement turned to anxiety as a few problems showed their head the week before. My first priority was to dial in some sanity. I mean, a lot of people play the part of crazy online. It’s cute and all but it’s just a show. I, on the other hand, am a full blown loon. I’m not playing any part at all. What you see (or read) is what you get. What if I scare miss Fnkybee sexy legs away?

(cue mission impossible music)

So began “MISSION SANITY” in an attempt to tone down the crazy. 

A wrench was immediately thrown into my mission when Mr T told me that the in laws would be in town that week as well. Normally that wouldn’t be a big deal but they were going to be house hunting. Between house hunting, 13′s medical and 11′s fall ball practice, my level of crazy would naturally be rising. This was going to be hard.

My next issue was the fact that I had been searching for sexy shoes that were comfortable enough to walk around all night in while drinking. Let me just say that such a pair of shoes does not exist. I decided to just go with sexy and hope it all works out. Mr T and I had planned on meeting them together. We had made plans to pick them up at 7 Wednesday night and we would head over to see Absinthe at Ceaser’s Palace.  As we rolled into Tuesday morning, I knew there was going to be a problem. I just didn’t trust Mr T. He seemed way too impatient about waiting until Wednesday and I was worried he was going to sneak a meeting in there a head of schedule. He was going to fill them in on the “crazy”. I couldn’t let this happen. I had wasted way to many seconds meditating and way too many hours sober for him to go and fuck it all up.  I had to do something.

So I did the only thing that I could do and spied on him through Twitter. Yes, I did. I spied. I read all his little tweets and even hid behind the couch while I did it. DON’T JUDGE ME PEOPLE! Did you see the sexy Fnkybee legs up there? In any case, I was too late. My suspicions were confirmed when he begged Miss Fnkybee via Twitter for her and B to get in his cab. Can you believe it? I knew he couldn’t be trusted. Now I feared that they would be kidnapped or he would release the crazy and scare them all the way back to the airport and off the would go.

HackingVegas
@Fnkybee do you and B need a ride somewhere? I bored. Let’s go find you guys some trouble to get in.
***
I couldn’t believe the heartbreak that I was reading. Not only was he begging, he had no shame and didn’t even try to hide the fact he was going to throw me under the bus. I didn’t recognize this man anymore. I was pissed.
Mr Smooth Criminal arrived home from work just a short time later and I was waiting for him in the kitchen with a knife. I tried to play it off like I was chopping vegetables, but he knew the truth. I was ready to shank him. 
“SO?” I asked.
“So…..what?” he said nervously.
“How was it?” I asked.
“How was what?” he asked.
“Oh cut the shit old man, what the hell did you tell them?” I asked while raising the knife.
“They were in my cab for 2 and a half minutes. That’s no where near enough time to warn them of anything. They’re cool people, but they’re on their own.” he said.
“I see. Well …..are they what we expected?” I asked.
“Well, I don’t know. What are you expecting?” he asked me.

To bee continued ……..

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Category : Most Random Thoughts, My Sense of Humor
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