What Kids? (19)
…….. picking up from Connecting the Dots (18) in the posts of My Journey Here
I sat in my room angry until I finally heard my dad come home. I didn’t rush out to him. I had nothing to say. He seemed rushed, as he usually did, and Karen was quick to attack him with the story of the evening… “his unreasonable daughter”. While most people have this insatiable urge to defend themselves, I didn’t. I sat in my room and just listened.
What I learned from listening in to this conversation was that Karen had no qualms with exaggerating the truth, or as I would sometimes observe, down right lie. This began my hatred for liars. Though I never pushed her, smacked her hands away, or yelled in her face, all of those things seems to find their way into her version of events. Yet, another adult I could not trust.
Most importantly was learning that it was, in fact, my mom who was in the hospital and she wasn’t in the greatest of shapes. Witnesses said that they saw her being pushed from a moving van in the slow lane on the freeway. That’s where the ambulance picked her up from. Who pushed her? She never did offer that information up, but everyone knew who owned the van that was described. How she ended up in that situation is a story in itself. Let’s start from the beginning of that one….
***
If you recall, John had made his way to the West Coast and discovered where my mom was shortly after I was taken away by my dad. It didn’t take long for my mom to go running back. After my youngest sister was born premature due to getting beaten up by John, my mom had moved back with my grandma. But just as she had many times before, she went back to him.
Between my mom’s two sisters and her brother, I had 4 cousins. All girls. My mom’s family all used the same babysitter, Carmen, who actually didn’t live that far from my dad’s house. My mom had starting using Carmen to watch my two sisters while she looked for work, and after going back to John she continued using Carmen. Carmen had gotten to know my Aunt Michele and grandma pretty good and she confessed that she was worried about my mom. My mom would drop my sisters off at weird hours and although she claimed she was looking for work, John was always with her and she was usually drunk or high. Carmen felt guilty about going to my grandma with this info but she didn’t know what to do.
Less than a week had passed since Carmen had gone to my grandma when my mom showed up at Carmen’s door. She asked if Carmen could take my sisters for the night because she had some business to take care of. She handed Carmen a can of Spaghetti O’s and told her my sisters could split it for dinner. She assured her she would return the following morning fro them.
She never came back.
A week had gone by before Carmen made a desperate call to my grandma. Carmen had 4 kids of her own and was a single mother. She couldn’t afford to keep feeding and caring for my sisters. Unfortunately my grandma had just started a new job and was not there to answer her phone calls. No one else did either. That was until the hospital called my grandma’s apartment and my Aunt Michelle happened to be just getting home from work.
“Your sister was found on the side of the freeway yesterday afternoon and we’ve been trying to get a hold of someone.”
“Oh my god, is she alright? What happened? Was it John?” my aunt asked.
“I’m sorry ma’am but I don’t know who John is and your sister isn’t saying much. She has a broken nose, broken wrist, and her eyes are swollen shut. She’s lucky. It could have been a lot worse.”
“Let me get a hold of my mom and then we will be there. Wait!?! Where are the kids?” my aunt asked.
“What kids?”
As if by some evil twist of fate, this happened to be the same exact day that Carmen had to make a difficult decision. She had spent days trying to get a hold of someone without luck. She was running out of money and my mom was nowhere to be found. She picked up the phone.
“Hello? Can I have the number for Children’s Protective Services Please?”
Wow! Some of our lives are straight movies and novels. Please keep writing for you just don’t know how much of a voice you might be being for a lot of people. My mind envisions scenes when the verbs and nouns are painted right. I would start of book club off this realness. By no means am I’m trying to glamorize or glorify these actions; I’m just saying thank you for your verbal feeding.
Thanks so much for reading. Everyone’s support is what has helped to me keep going. This hasn’t been easy to get down.
What I am sharing are “post length” major events with a small back story as to why and how they occurred. I am, in fact writing a book that will be published and will be explaining all of these stories, and more, in greater detail. This won’t be happening until I have finished posting my story here (that’s the way that I would like it).
Thanks again for reading and commenting. Your thoughts are always appreciated
Sad thing is shit like this still happens! And no one does anything. I hope more people read all this and if they know of someone who’s in a similar situation, they’ll contact the proper authorities.
I couldn’t agree more!
Geez. I am speechless. What a life you’ve had! You must be a strong woman.
Great post, btw. You are an awesome writer.
Thanks so much Susan!
Wow!! I couldn’t help but admire you!
Thank you
and thanks for reading!
I don’t want the ending “spoiled” but I have really been wondering if anyone ever killed John or put him in jail. There’s a lot of guilty folks in this story and a lot of blame to go around but… I joke about people needing to be killed, because that’s my type of humor, or I write about it in stories, but would never hurt anyone, except maybe to help someone else. But I hope someone killed John somewhere before the end of this story. It’s a wonder you turned out to be such a caring mom. Or maybe no wonder, just like it’s obvious that the child of alcoholics will never touch a drop themselves. It’s a great thing that you survived all this and have stopped the cycle of violence and abuse that you were apparently born into. As the child of loving parents–a dad who didn’t express it much but you knew he was there, and a mom who was the sweetest woman who ever lived–I can’t even imagine how parents and “stepparents” could do this. I’m glad you made it through.
I also use humor to joke through situations. Sometimes, you just have to. I am thankful that I experienced these things as a kid because I fully believe that it’s why I am the parent that I am. I don’t want to give away the ending so I won’t say what became of John but you will find out in the end. Thanks so much for reading. It means a lot.
Great post. I hate to say that because um sorry u had to go through that shit but your presentation and recall of detail is great.
Thank you, and thanks again for reading
Wow!!
Spaghetti O faces! Did you make the faces? Or were they poured that way?
I love how you describe your personality in the first two paragraphs.
Wow…sadly, I can relate to this in so many ways. Hugs.
Beth
I’m sorry to hear that Beth. Hopefully you’ve found some closure. Thanks for reading.
*hugs*
I’m with trailertrashdeluxe … I hope John got everything he deserved.
I’ve finally been catching up your posts – wow. Your journey has been incredible. It really saddens me to know that there are so many assholes running around in this world, allowed to abuse and disrespect others simply because they feel like it. Like I’ve said before – you’re the strongest, toughest chick I know!
Thanks Ann.
Huh ? Is this a true story ? I pray it isn’t ! ! !
It is a true story, it’s mine. Unfortunate, but true. Thanks for reading.
Twisted, abnormal dependence of a woman on a man/men due to her own negative assumptions about herself: I am so pleased to see that YOU are not allowing this heritage to cripple YOU! I came uncomfortably close to this type of mindset a couple of times in my own childrearing years but was thankfully pulled back from this type of “edge of the cliff” before any real harm was done. Hooray for your bravery in sharing these stories on your blog. I have every confidence this is will be of great assistance to many mothers and children out there. Blessings on your, dear one, as you continue your healing and growing in confidence and peace.
Thanks so much Granbee. I appreciate your thoughts. I have received emails from people who say they have been helped by reading some aspect of my story. That’s been an added benefit. Thanks for reading.
This really interesting, Is there an
easier way to reach the beginning,
I would like the whole story.
At the top of my blog is a page titled “My Journey Here”. On that page all of my posts of my childhood are listed in order. I hope this helps. I look forward to your thoughts. Thanks for reading.
I could not stop reading this. And thinking about it.
How have you managed? Many of us have tragic childhoods, but never was I abandoned or placed into CPS.
You are such an amazing woman. I’m in tears.
You are an inspiration, for what you have accomplished in he past, and what you accomplish now.
Wow. It is very brave of you to share this …
Pretty powerful stuff. raw, real and gripping. I’m just sorry you had to live through all this…
Thank you. My childhood make me a stronger person and a better parent. For those reasons, I’m not sorry. Thanks for taking the time to read and sharing your thoughts. It means a lot.
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