The Not So Smart

I’m constantly hearing about the people who get scammed though email, Facebook and phone calls. Generally speaking, the victims are elderly and fall for something they’ve been told through an unsolicited phone call. Other times, it’s the younger generation who have responded to an email that they thought was from their bank or got taken to the cleaners by someone through Craigslist. In both cases, I could understand how something like this would happen.

Imagine………..

You’re a young single mother with only $20 in the bank until your next paycheck. You don’t have a whole lot of family help but you are getting by just fine on your own. Until one evening you receive an email from your bank that says someone tried to make a large purchase with your account and it triggered fraud prevention. If you want to protect your account from fraudulent charges you must click on the link and answer some security questions. You’re a little unsure but don’t want to lose the last of your hard earned money so you call your bank. “We’re sorry, you’ve reached our automated system after normal business hours.” FUCK. So you take a deep breath, click the link and sign your soul over. Good news is the next morning your money is still in the bank. The bad news is that in about a year you’re gonna realize that someone used the social security number and full name you provided them through that email to get a car loan and new cell phones. They’ve since defaulted on the loan and mobile contract leaving you stuck with their bills, negative reports on your credit and the need for a cosigner (which you don’t have) to get a student loan. I guess you’ll be working at Walmart a while longer. Live and learn.

True Story. Happened to a friend of mine. And maybe it’s because I have known people who have fallen for this shit (see? I did it again. I cussed for no fucking reason) I have grown to understand it, while others may sit back and think “what a dumb ass”.

There are certain practices that I follow in my life. For one, if you call me and your number isn’t programmed in my phone than I’m not answering it. END OF STORY. If it’s important enough you can leave me a message. If it’s important enough for me, I’ll call you back. Maybe that’s harsh but this has worked out in my favor on many of occasion. But I have had those calls and messages swearing that I just won some sort of lottery and all I have to do is give them my tax information so they can issue me a check. Ok buddy. Wait for my return call. Douchebag.

I’ve gotten the same thing through email too. I’ve magically won some international lottery and need to claim my prize. Or what about the prince who died and they need me, YES ME, to receive funds in the United States to save their country from economic collapse. I could have saved a civilization ya’all! These are times when I receive an email and it instantly triggers a red flag. I can’t see how anyone could fall for this shit. More than that, it’s made me realize that someone out there believes that a good percentage of the United States population are such complete and utter imbeciles that it warrants the energy to come up with this ridiculously idiotic scheme.

But what about the email scams that have a little more energy put into them, like the one my friend received from her bank? While the email was not from her bank, obviously, the people who sent it obviously knew which bank she used and went to the lengths of creating a fake email account that resembled (at quick glance) a bank’s email address.  That’s at least smart.

paranoia setting in right about…….NOW

What about the scams from people claiming to be your credit card company? Your rewards programs? What about the emails from Facebook suggesting you add friends? How the fuck did they know that I knew these people? looks around nervously And what about the emails from family? They claim to know you, but do they really? I mean, do they?

Which brings me to an email I received from our Cell Phone provider. When you get an email from someone you do business with, you don’t think twice about it. And at first, I didn’t either. The email stated that they were hoping I would answer a few questions regarding  a recent conversation with customer service and that all I had to do was log in with our account information. But wait! Why am I getting an email addressed to my husband? Hmmmmm. That’s odd, but not really considering he is the primary account holder. crisis averted But Wait! Why am I getting an email at all? My email address isn’t even linked to our mobile account? Holy shit! This email isn’t even from AT&T! assholes Then how did they know we just talked to customer service?

Holy shit! we are being stalked aren’t we?

Maybe someone will fall for your shit if you actually take the time to address your criminally dishonest email to the proper recipient. While I applaud your realistic email and use of AT&T’s logo, you are not so smart my friend. If you are going to take the time to follow me home, rummage through my garbage and tap my phones you should probably take the time to get your shit together.

Do you think they have video of me in the shower?

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